sleepy

And so am going to sleep.

Feel free to hang out at the lounge as long as you want. The beauty thing about this space is that there is no such thing as last call.

Oh HELL no!

Just spent the past however long on the phone with Infatuation. The deal with him is this: apparently he's LIVING with some girl who's out of town this weekend. In addition, he thinks that FB is lame because he should have been on a plane Thursday to come see me. This is rich, as Infatuation and I have never met, although apparently he likes for me to be his safe fake mistress of some sort. At any rate, the point here is this. I apologize for not being a better hostess. And also, dude, boys are fools.

- Crazy

Random Ramblings

No word back from Medusa, which may either be a good sign or a bad one. It's difficult to know. She went to dinner tonight with a Blast From The Past - a guy she had a relationship about five years ago, who suddenly reappeared within the past couple of weeks. The fact that I'm not hearing from her may mean: 1) they went to see some music after dinner, 2) they are having freaky circus sex, 3) she's lying in a ditch someplace. (Three is very unlikely, but I needed a number three.)

Otherwise, what shall I write about. The book, It's progressing, and I hope to be done with it tomorrow, although this is ambitious given the fact that it's 12:20, I've had a bunch of wine, and I've attempted to have a State of the Union with a guy who's totally not my boyfriend. In other words, I have high hopes for tomorrow, but I may need to work on Sunday, too, as much as I don't want to do so. The one thing that was good about the State of the Union is that I do feel like I was totally and completely honest. Totally and completely balls out with everything, although, of course, I am not having the actual balls. I'm being all metaphorical and shit. Ooh! phone!

Oh wow! Infatuation is on the phone! How wild! (Though apparently he's with a girlfriend, which is so annoying.)

Update on the FB

So. I just got off the phone with him. Basically, I laid it on the line with him about where things need to go with me and him if we're going to continue on. Nothing (obviously) came of that email or the conversation... or, rather, I did get some information, but nothing was *decided*. Dude, I'm a decisive person. Why isn't everybody fucking decisive? It would make things so much easier.

In other news, while I was on the phone with FB, Medusa called from her cell and obviously I could not answer. I don't know whether this bodes ill or well, re: the pseudo-date that she was on tonight. I certainly hope to hear back from her very soon, as now I'm dying to know what's going on.

So what's been on the agendas of people out in the blogosphere this evening? Good times? Fun and frolicking? Sobbing to The Ghost Whisperer? Inquiring minds want to know....

Crazy

Jesus Christ

Dudes are such fools. Discuss.

Crazy Here: And You May Wonder Why I Keep the FB Around

It's because he directs me to things like this. Thanks, y'all, for stopping by last night. Also, feel free to use this comment thread should you be drinking and in the mood for chatter when Medusa and I aren't around. Our idea is that people will stop by the Lounge even when we're not hosting.... And we may perhaps invite others to become regular posters to this here blog, depending on how things go. So don't be shy! Let us know if you're around!

Good morning revelers!

Thank you all for coming last night! I have to say I think we all a) looked sensational; b) drank well, if to grapey excess; c) behaved well under the influence of the drink; and d) covered some interesting ground conversationally in a funny and engaging and boozy manner.

Those of you who missed the fun, do not fear. I am sure there will be many future opportunities for drinking at Crazy Medusa's. Oh and by the way, the missing comments were deleted only because they gave away locations of party goers. I probably should delete the ones about the professors I slept with, but I am not gonna. After all, what fun is a party if you don't do or say anything that you slightly regret in the morning?

Must go find some Advil for this headache of regret. I am really really not in drinking shape. (And does anyone know how I got this bruise on my thigh? Was I turning one-way signs around again?) Hope you all are feeling fine and chipper this morning. Have a wonderful Saturday!

xo Medusa

Oof.

I'm not really awake. It's just my cat is on a schedule, and his need for breakfast will not be denied. I awakened to his insistent meows and my first thought was: "I can't believe FB did not call me on the phone last night! How rude!"

I then wandered into the living room to see that he had, in fact, called, and only just 1/2 hour after I took myself to bed. (And I just keep a phone in my bed now, so you would think that I'd have noticed the call.) Am now trying to remember whether I called him first. I think I might have, but I don't think I left a message. Or maybe I just thought of calling him. It is hard to know.

My head hurts. I think I have to go back to bed.

Shout out to the hiz ous!

'Tis I, the Chalupa, sending out a what what to the attendees of the first virtual happy hour at Crazy Medusa's Lounge.

The Dr. Crazy, she has bowed out for the evening. The Mama Medusa, I have advised her to go to the bed, for she has much of the work to face in the morning.

But I invite you to continue the conversation and to comment, for the example, on the beauty and boinkliciousness of the crushes and to challenge with the truths and with the dares for the mama Medusa and the Crazy. Whattheever! This is the space in which we want you to lounge and to frolic! Enjoy and I will wake the mama Medusa nd the Crazy in the morn to apprise them of the goings on!

For the now, enjoy!

Goodnight, Darlings!

Ok, so I'm drunk, and I need to go to sleep. Thank you all so much for stopping by! Med and I will surely be by in this space again when we need to "go out" (if you will)!

But yes. So I shall be taking to my bed now, taking to my bed with the Lovely Man-Kitty.

On the morrow....
Crazy

Some more things that we might discuss

Ok, so the stories of Crazy's Fake Boyfriend are totally boring. Let's move on to something more exciting. I suggest, Truth or Dare.

Boink worthy?

On the table for discussion:

Gael Garcia Bernal
Tommy Gavin
More Fun
Nathaniel Hawthorne
Narcissistic String Theory Guy
John Bender
Maggie Gyllenhaal
Rick "Linky" Linklater
Charlie the Tuna
Cole Hauser
Jon Hamm/Don Draper
Neil Patrick Harris
Crazy's Fake Boyfriend
Tucker Carlson
McSteamy
Harvey Keitel
Michel Foucault
Jacques Derrida
Slavoj Zizek
Anthony Bourdain
Chuckabot

Fake Boyfriend

Crazy here.

So. A commenter said she'd like to know more about the Fake Boyfriend, and, since I'm not in my usual space, I feel that I should probably tell the tale.

It all began.... well, FB had a blog of his own for a while, probably about two years ago, maybe more. He commented around at my blog as well as at others in the hood where mine resides. And then he disappeared.

So I write a post, around the beginning of Fall 2006, about how my book orders got fucked up, and he commented, after a long silence. I was excited to see him, mainly because I'd remembered him from before (he'd long since shut his blog down) and I'd not seen him. So I tell him he should email me. And so it begins.

So we email a bit, and it's flirtatious, but whatever, for I was still at the point at that point where I thought that weirdos who wanted to talk to Dr. Crazy were, well, weirdos. And then I talked to another bloggy person, and it was revealed that he'd had a flirtation with her in the past. And though I email with FB a bit after that, as well as talk to him on the phone, I figure that he's a douchebag, and so I sort of blow him off. I mean, why BOTHER? Also, I'm very busy with other things. But so then, I saddle myself with a Bloggy Infatuation, and then I realize I need to find a way to neutralize that, and so I send FB an email, after I'd not talked to him for a couple of months. And so he emails back, and we're back in touch. Only this time, I totally don't think of him as a BOY or anything - I think of him as like a guy I went to high school with and our conversations tend to be those in which I'm a bitch to him and he finds that charming and funny.

(The thing about FB is that he's from my Homestate, and I can fuck with him in the way that I fucked with boys from high school, can be mean to him in exactly the same way, and he takes it the way that it's meant. This is a rare, rare thing.)

But so then a BIG FUCKED UP THING happens with FB, when I think we're just doing the friend thing, and somehow things go to another level. This was, for me, a total surprise.

But then things continue to go in the Beyond Just a Friend Way, and the next thing I know, he plans a trip. This trip involves him seeing me, but it also involves me driving him to his hometown and dropping him off at his parents'. I suspect the reason that this happened is in part that I could convince myself that it was insane, and thus I didn't freak out about it as I would have as I would have done if I thought it definitively "meant" something.

Also, I had a trip to Britain planned for directly after, so I had pretty much surmised things would fizzle during that time off, so I thought I was safe. But. It didn't fizzle. He made sure to leave me a voicemail on the day I returned, and apparently, nothing changed during my two-week absence. But he's still fucked up. Which means that I've not seen him since June. But he calls me every day, and we're in some sort of a relationship, although the contours of that are unusual.

What will happen? I have no fucking idea. We've said we love each other; we've had arguments as if we are together; we like one another, both as friends (more than anything else) and otherwise (nothing to sneeze at). Should things not work out, I'm certain that he is my friend, and I'm commited to forcing him to be my friend (something I've only felt one other time). Should things work out?

Well, to be honest, I've not let myself think that they ever would, not really. Except that if they were to work out, it would be an amazing thing, and there are some possibilities for them to do so given the job market this year, although I'm in no way hopeful.

Also, have I mentioned that he's fucked up? He is. And so am I. And at the end of the day, I don't know whether either one of us can get past our own individual fucked-up-ness.

And even if we can? Well, we're both only children and we're both pretty single-minded about our own needs/desires. There will, in any scenario, be a need for a lot of compromise and a lot of negotiation.

One thing that speaks in favor of it is that I'm not daunted by it. Perhaps I'm not daunted by it because I believe it's ultimately impossible? And thus it's not really scary? Entirely possible. But also it may be that I can see where it really could work in a way that other things couldn't.

But so where things are with FB and I right now is that we talk daily, we're terribly close, and absolutely nothing is solid. We can't even manage to plan a visit with one another. If it goes on this way much longer, my patience will wear out, and we'll end up just as friends. Which will be fine, but which won't be what I want.

A Story from Crazy and Medusa's Past.....

While Medusa takes a picture of the tit-cozy, and of the sweet Chalupa, I shall tell you all a little story.

Once upon a time, Medusa and I were graduate students at Death Star University. Crazy and Medusa decided that they were going to have an after-hours get-together after a night out seeing one of our favorite bands. This sort of thing is, obviously, quite spontaneous in its generation, but at the same time, Medusa and Crazy are committed hostesses with the mostesses, and thus, we had high hopes. It all began with an invitation to the band. Medusa invited the front-man; Crazy's charge was to invite the incomprehensible bassist. This bassist originated in Northern Ireland, and nobody understood a "fooking" word of what he said - ever - but Crazy made a valiant, valiant attempt. Crazy should also note that it was a fucking blizzard outside that night, but, committed drinkers that we are, we did not falter because of the inclement weather! Oh no, we did not!

So we gave directions to all and sundry, and we made our way back to Medusa's establishment. But then! Alas! She lived on a one-way street! And the sign for the street! It had been blown by the vicious winds of the snowstorm! It was facing in the wrong direction! What if our party-goers could not find the house?

So What Would Medusa and Crazy Do (WWMaCD)? Well, we clearly stopped the car. And Crazy hoisted Medusa to her shoulders to turn the sign around. Obviously, that was the only possible option.

But. Medusa lived on Ben Affleck's mom's street. And a car goes by, during the sign-turning operation, and the driver shouts out "Hey!" and shakes his head. Clearly, Ben Affleck saw us performing this delicate operation. Clearly.

But we were not daunted. No indeed. We persevered, and we turned that sign in the right direction.

Tragically, no guests arrived at Medusa's on that fateful eve. Did the sign get blown back in the wrong direction by the wind? Did those that we invited forsake us? We do not know.

Another possible option is that we fell asleep before they arrived. On yet another occasion, we organized a similar after hours gathering. We went to sleep. When we awakened, we wondered why no one had shown up. Later, we checked the voice mail. Apparently, we were sleeping when our many guests arrived.

Conversation starters

Medusa here. Crazy and I have often discussed co-authoring an etiquette book on the art of conversation. Some of our most effective conversation starters include:

"Walk with me . . ." As later seen in Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows. This conversation starter should be reserved for starting conversations in a small, nonsensical for walking space, such a crowded bar or an imaginary place between life and death.

"Can I ask you a personal question?" It's okay to ask this to a complete stranger and then to ask something like, "Are you a baseball fan?" The point is attention getting, not continuity.

"Has anyone ever told you you look like Marcel Marceau?"

I suppose, however, these conversation starters are not going to work for a virtual happy hour or any situation in which we really want to talk with people rather than totally fucking with them. You see, the etiquette book is kind of a perverse fantasy, indeed a parody.

But we truly want to start some sparkling conversation here! And so, here are some suggested topics:

What you are wearing? People at real parties comment on others' appearance. You tell us what you are wearing, and we will compliment you on your attire or make fun of you behind your back.

What are you reading/watching? Read any good books lately? Seen any good movies? What are your guiltiest t.v. pleasures?

Who are you boinking? Or who do you want to be boinking? Celebrities, fictional characters, and dead authors totally count.

The Current Conversation between Crazy and Medusa

Medusa: What can we do to get people talking? I feel like they're expecting us to do something.

Crazy: I know. I'm not sure. If it were a class I would stare at them meaningfully and tell them that I'm not a television, but that doesn't seem appropriate here.

Medusa: We could just tell them the telephonic conversation we were just having, and they could just jump in and say anything they want to say, like how it happens at real parties.

Crazy: Well, that is an option, but I'm going to leave it to you to recount that conversation. I've been doing too much typing while you're busy cooking and talking to your puppalicious puppy.

Medusa (aside to Chalupa): I know! It's a party! It's a party on the phone and on the computer!

Crazy (thinking to herself): This is like how when I was feeling sorry for myself as a kid and my mom would derisively say, "Crazy had a party and nobody came!"

Medusa: And they should know that they should jump in in the comments and talk about whatever, for we are monitoring them closely.

Crazy: Yes, they should know that. Indeed, we would love to hear from the people who are watching. You know what this reminds me of? That party that we meant to go to for New Year's once and we drove up and noticed that there were only like four people there and we ended up just driving away and going to a bar instead. I sure hope people don't do that.

Updated, 7:50:

Ok, the delicious nachos are finally in the oven. So who's here? Introduce yourselves. I'll go first. As you know, my name is Medusa. I enjoy whiskey (though I am keeping to the Shiraz tonight, as whiskey makes me a. hilarious; b. belligerent; or c. in jail, and you never really know which way it's going to go), bassists, and 17th century poetry. You may know my friend of 10 years, Crazy. We are both Drs., but if you saw us in a bar you might say, "What kind of doctors are they?" I would say tonight we are Doctors of Fun. Three of my favorite Crazy quotes to various Lotharios in bars on nights out are: 1) "Why won't you just do what I want you to do?"; 2) "You don't know me, so you need to not touch me."; 3) "That's right. You don't know what kind of people we are."

Welcome!

Hello! And welcome to Crazy Medusa's Lounge! Medusa's off in the kitchen getting cheffing up a delicious happy hour feast (oh, the nachos) for herself. I have just poured myself a glass of wine, and after appeasing the gluttonous Man-Kitty, I am settling in for a night of delicious drinking. Ooh! Medusa just found ANOTHER bottle of wine hiding behind the bottle of wine she'd bought for the festivities that she didn't know she had! It's going to be an interesting night, indeed!

So Crazy and Medusa first met on the Smoking Bench at Death Star University, where we both earned our PhDs. We're still surprised that we managed to pass that Latin language exam in order to do so, but we both did! And no, neither one of us uses Latin at all in our work. Good times, semper fi!

I need to go arrange some music for the Crazy Outpost of the Lounge. In the meantime, you might compliment Medusa on her design of this space, and if you know how to set up a virtual jukebox so that we can send our music out to the masses, you might let us know how to do that. We will have more topics forthcoming, as well as stories from the past, in honor of our anniversary. Also, feel free to ask us questions or to pose your own topics for discussion. Up next: What we're wearing!

Helloooooo

Test! Check Check!