Medusa here. Crazy and I have often discussed co-authoring an etiquette book on the art of conversation. Some of our most effective conversation starters include:
"Walk with me . . ." As later seen in Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows. This conversation starter should be reserved for starting conversations in a small, nonsensical for walking space, such a crowded bar or an imaginary place between life and death.
"Can I ask you a personal question?" It's okay to ask this to a complete stranger and then to ask something like, "Are you a baseball fan?" The point is attention getting, not continuity.
"Has anyone ever told you you look like Marcel Marceau?"
I suppose, however, these conversation starters are not going to work for a virtual happy hour or any situation in which we really want to talk with people rather than totally fucking with them. You see, the etiquette book is kind of a perverse fantasy, indeed a parody.
But we truly want to start some sparkling conversation here! And so, here are some suggested topics:
What you are wearing? People at real parties comment on others' appearance. You tell us what you are wearing, and we will compliment you on your attire or make fun of you behind your back.
What are you reading/watching? Read any good books lately? Seen any good movies? What are your guiltiest t.v. pleasures?
Who are you boinking? Or who do you want to be boinking? Celebrities, fictional characters, and dead authors totally count.
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107 comments:
Television... always a good conversation starter. I like trash reality television, because it allows me to retain my dream that I, too, may someday be famous for doing absolutely nothing. I am currently in mourning that yet another season of Big Brother has passed without me being on it. Seriously. I should be on it. I would lie about what I did for a living, though. Also? I would like to be on American Idol, but I am too old. I think 33 is probably too old to be cool on Big Brother, too, though. That is sad. I would not do well on Survivor, so I can't be bothered with that. The finale of Last Comic Standing is playing on my DVR, and I'm kind of over it already... I already know who won, so who really cares.
Anyways... Pour me a glass of wine. K! Thx!
And while we're talking about what we're wearing (which I'm not because I suck at fashion, so someone dress me in a new outfit, please), let me say that this blog template is fabulous.
Pouring you a glass of wine right now, B*. Medusa is responding more substantively
I am personally vying for a spot on "Flavor of Love," though I suspect Flav might be one of the worst kissers in the world (second only to Blane in Pretty in Pink) and I am not nor have I ever been a "dancer," which seems to be a prerequisite.
Crazy wants to totally rock the world of the skeevy skeevy Bret Michaels (or, as I call him, Bret Michael Micahels) as a contestant/skanky ho on "Rock of Love."
Hey y'all...
I have the lava lamp on to add to the "atmosphere" :).
Anybody catch Survivor last night? They are in China this time -- and among them are a professional poker player and a female wrestler...
could be fun.
I'm wearing a lime green and navy argyle sweater. (The hipster kind - you don't *have* to make fun of me) over a white collar shirt, and my "Italian jeans." My fabu/hilarious CEO-of-a major-online-dating-enterprise friend (which somehow explains her fabu/hilariouisness), who gives me castoffs that don't quite fit her, kept on emphasizing these as "Italian and $300." In fact, they are rather awesome - sexy jeans, if I do say so.
TV/boinking: Must say, my current obsession is DVD's (and for this you will certainly laugh at me behind my back, since I am 7 years behind) of Queer as Folk. And for boinking, I must admit that though I myself am queer, I'm all about QaF's Brian Kinney/Gale Norton. Yuuuuup, predictable - and again, 7 years late on this. But that guy's like a walking sexual revelation.
You may wonder what I'm wearing. I am wearing Navy blue exercise pants with a white stripe down the side, a white t-shirt, pink and black flip-flops. I may don my crazy red dragon robe ( http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/5694/2002/1600/Summer%202006%20020.jpg) later, but only if everyone is very lucky.
Ok, so the fashion question has arisen. I, usually quite fashion conscious, have donned the following for our virtual happy hour:
Gray gym shorts
White ribbed tank
Chesnut colored Ugg boots
At any minute, as it is chilly, I might put on one of my many ballet sweaters or, as a friend calls them, "tit cozies." I think the lavender angora tit cozy might be most appropriate for the occasion.
Yep. The lavender angora tit cozy it is.
oh, dudes, we should totally tell someone to make a drink run for us on their way over here...
I'm currently in a red t-shirt and tan shorts... with bare feet.
I'm going to the gym in a bit, so I'll put on my swimsuit and then sweats, as it is kind of chilly out...
I'll check in with y'all later, I'm going swimming when the pool is empty!
This season of Survivor has to be good because there is a panda featured in the credits.
am cracking up at the phrase "tit cozy"
okay, if we're honestly talking about outfits, I'm still wearing my light green polo shirt and khaki pants, which makes me sound too soccer-mom-ish, so I am going to change into my flannel jammie pants (white with pink flowers) and a pink t-shirt... brb.
a reality show that sucked? That one about Scott Baio being single. Because you know what? I don't really care about him. Plus, who cares if he's still single?
Shall we talk about these very awesome little girls in my neighborhood that demanded that I take their photograph? (See?)
God, those *are* awesome girls! I love that they demanded for you to take their photo. Usually I don't like demanding kids, but if they're demanding you take notice of their awesome girl power-ness, well then, go to it.
Dudes, the drinking over here won't be starting for at least another two hours, as there's grading to do (given that I've wasted all day--well, not totally wasted! I did get a haircut! and my first-ever facial!). But seeing as I AM making a meal of tortilla chips and guac, in some ways it's like a real party.
Oh, and clothes? At present, I'm wearing black track pants and a pale blue tank top.
They were all... "COME OVER HERE!!! TAKE OUR PICTURE!" I was like... um... all right. Too funny. I liked their spirit.
I am really confused by the people talking about work such as grading and going through a grant application on a Friday night. Does not compute.
Bright star, What an awesome photo!
On Scott Baio: what a TOTAL prick. I couldn't tell if they were just playing up the whole "I am a total prick" thing or if we were supposed to adore him for his "honesty." I found him completely repulsive, just sickeningly misogynistic in an as of yet unapproached by reality television (which is saying a lot) way.
Baio = gross. The episode I saw was the cuddle party episode. He pretty much had the emotional maturity of a 12 year old.
Hi Flavia...aren't facials fun? I have had two, using gift certificates. I am in love with the feeling of my face, after I leave.
Now I am going out. To the eating dinner and the ballet. Have much fun!! (Oh, and since I love talking about clothes: I have changed out of the argyle and Itaian jeans and into my favourite wide-legged wool trousers and some kind of weird wrap cardigan.)
your template is indeed fabulous. did I miss the party?
*waving* Would you accept a comment from a longtime lurker?
I am wearing a large tshirt with some inane statement about hot flashes. Don't ask.
I am a prof in a small state school. In the sciences but I still play nicely with others. Most of the time. Sometimes.
One art show, one snack plated dinner at new restaurant on Cherry St. and two point five glasses of wine in I have to say: Top Chef--Hung will win even though Casey should--even if she can't slice an onion.
Ordered at pre-cocktail hour dinner: duck quesadilla, salmon two ways, and fried chicken fancy-style.
Wearing: favorite skirt with with flowery-paisley blue and beige design, blue tank with blue bra. Bra straps and top of bra show. This is also what i wore to dinner.
Is this appropriate? Should my husband know if this is appropriate and have told me one way or the other?
It's hot here.
What're you watching right now?
I fear I might be watching The Unit but a movie of Clint Eastwood type genre might ensue. I am not the master of the remote domain. At least not tonight.
my t shirt has a picture of charlie the tuna on it. you know charlie the tuna, right?
I know Charlie the Tuna. Does that date me? Oh -nevermind - already mentioned the hot flash shirt.
no, it doesn't date you. I'm not even 30 yet and I know who charlie the tuna is :)
Who I like/might like to boink (and I am SO not proud of some of these):
Gael Garcia Bernal
Tommy Gavin
More Fun
Nathaniel Hawthorne
Narcissistic String Theory Guy
John Bender
Maggie Gyllenhaal
Rick "Linky" Linklater
Discuss.
Flavia - I haven't ever had a facial, so I would like to know more...
nik - sounds like you've had a good night so far... I had dinner at a local microbrewery, but I was the only one drinking, as my friend is pregnant. This girlfriend and I like to go to lunch and dinner at insanely early times (we left for dinner at 4:45 p.m. today), and we say that we like to eat with the old people.
Top Chef - It's hard to know, since we don't eat the food, but the show is definitely edited in favor of Hung. Maybe they're trying to make up for not letting Marcel win last season, since Hung and Marcel are friends?
anastasia - Hi! Of course we know Charlie the Tuna. Isn't that the same brand as chicken of the sea? (Is that fish? or chicken? According to Jessica Simpson...)
i totally have a thing for damian lewis. he's on the new show life.
my colleague is totally into Cole Hauser, who is the star of the new t.v. show K-Ville.
chikin of the sea!
*cracking up at wanting to boink Narcissistic String Theory Guy*
Hi Donna! Welcome! We are so glad you joined us. And you so totally should be laughing at me for wanting to boink Narcissistic String Theory Guy. Story to follow shortly.
I'm drunk.
It's rare I have a crushy TV thing but Jon Hamm who plays Don Draper on Mad Men is one of my cures for insomnia.
How many glasses of wine does it take for you to be drunkish?
I'm not even sure wine makes me drunk. Mostly, it makes me feel grapey. Do they even put liquor in it anymore?
Can we crush on Neil Patrick Harris even though he's gay? The unrequited gay man crush is so painful!
Yes. Doogie forever.
Who would Crazy boink? I know you're dying to know:
1. Well, I'd boink my fake boyfriend (who I actually met through my blog) even though he lives 2K miles away, is fucked up, and I've only seen him once, even though I have met his parents (because my life is nothing if not unusual).
2. Tucker Carlson. I can't explain it, because I really do loathe him.
3. McSteamy on Grey's Anatomy. Because I'm always exhausted when I watch it, and it always seems like a good idea at the time.
4. Harvey Keitel.
5. Michel Foucault. Because, really, I'm a gay man. Really.
Maybe I am just grapey, then? Right on! "No, occifer! I am just grapey."
Meeting the boyfriend through the blog, even if thousands of miles away, can be super fun. My blog boyfriend / real boyfriend is flying to town on Thursday this week.
And who isn't fucked up, really?
[I want to know more about Crazy's fake boyfriend... we get to know very little / must read between the lines for info about fake boyfriend on the blog.]
harvey keitel? o my god, nooooooo. at least...not me. he's all yours
Doogie forever! First blogger ever!
I would also do Anthony Bourdain. I heart the hateable.
Bourdain? I see the appeal.
he's hot.
"Can't fuck Zizek" should be a T-shirt.
Perhaps Crazy Medusa's Lounge could begin a merchandising sideline
Yes, we demand details about the fake boyfriend!
I am not in the humanities, so I actually don't know all of the names being dropped. I DO KNOW SOME OF THEM! I could drop names like Piaget and Vygotsky, but somehow... not hot.
you know what, I'm on the phone right now with my sister. she's telling me her boyfriend troubles.
"Can't fuck Zizek" should totally be a t-shirt! I also feel like something like "Traverse the fantasy" should be on the back.
I IM almost every day with my sister who is having husband troubles. She married him in June. They're getting divorced. V. lame. Hard to IM all the time about how sorry. But we do come up with good names for him. Chuckabot being the latest best. Because he's a robot.
Anatasia---Oh no! Boyfriend troubles! She should come to our virtual happy hour for advice!
how old is sis?
31
Just sent a note thanking the senior faculty folks who took us to dinner. I actually didn't let them buy. But still, it was their idea and they offered. She's a good poet and he's a good photographer. V. artsy and well-connected for this fair town.
oh maybe not asking me :D
break up with idiots, I say. smart boys are hot.
The comments ARE hard to keep up with. My last one was apropo of nothing except I have to clean up my email box.
Perhaps between every comment I make, I should have to take a sip of wine.
We could make commenting a drinking game!
crap, I would be far too drunk if that was the rule!
she's going to give him a month to decide if he really wants a relationship. it's already been two months of "im not sure but let's make out"
Wine sipped! (B*! You can keep up. Tiny sips).
One should know by the time one is 31 how dipshitty the boyfriend is. It doesn't make him undateable, but if she could acknowledge his lameness, she could make more reasonable plans for him. Or maybe he too is robotic (meaning acting all sweetie while he plans his escape. V. Simon and Garfunkel. V. Pina Colada.)
he's like a man-child. not very appealing to me, this one. of course the last one was the skeeviest person I've ever met or heard about so this might be an improvement.
she's perpetually got a thing for guys who are half in half out of the relationship--either seeing other people or simply want to sleep with her without committing. They'll claim not being ready but they get ready in a hurry when they meet someone else. very cliche, really.
by seeing other people i mean you know like actually dating someone else or married or sleeping with them. not just dating non-exclusively. no problem there.
Another off-topic point or two.
1. I made Tabbouleh for my capstone class. Something about other genres, Roland Barthes mythologies and the like. I didn't soak the bulgur long enough and the students cracked their teeth on it. Ever since, I've craved tabbouleh. With the bulgur properly soaked.
2. Anyone wearing a red dragon rob yet?
this is also totally random but bulgur wheat will forever make me think of my dissertation director. she puts it in salad. the first time I ever knowingly ate it was in a salad she made.
also, i like otters.
No red dragon robe yet, though I did switch into my Laura Ingalls Wilder nightgown :)
So bulgur is already a professorial genre. So much for genre bending.
I read all y'alls blogs every day. I just don't comment because I suffer from severe impostor syndrome. For instance, I just spelled impostor "imposter" and blogger told me I was wrong. And I believe blogger. Deeply wrong in the spelling dept. I am.
I am not, at least, a professor of the Spelling Dept. That would be a travesty beyond measure.
My husband does not like Little House on the Prairie books. How is it, we are supposed to go on? Does he not covet the cold winters? The warm brick in the bottom of bedsheets? The only Christmas gift an orange? Has he no heart?
I spell incorrectly and use poor grammar with wild abandon! Blog / comment away!
oh oh! The maple syrup pulled from the trees and poured over fresh snow!
And the hair ribbons! And coveting Mary's golden hair! And the really cool dresses they made for themselves when they grew up! And the blizzard!
(Yes, I have the LHOTP books memorizes. Your point?)
(I think I've missed the party...Darn time zones...)
Are peeps still here? We had _rain_ people, rai --- well, ok, drizzling. But I had no alcohol in the house and was trying to figure out how to magically teleport to somewheres to get wine without getting wet or dealing with stupid California drivers. (we don't get that water stuff over here)
But instead I ventured out and got me some beer. Not my fave, but it'll do.
Well I definitely missed the party. *sigh*
(I like otters too.)
Oh, the otter thing wasn't random after all! Just noticed Nik's avatar. I thought Anastasia's comment was an attempt to be surreal and no one noticed, so I was trying to make her feel validated.
Missed the party AND the plot, I guess.
I fear I missed the party too. Ah well. To catch up...I love Laura Ingalls Wilder, right now I am wearing light blue workout shorts and a black tank (though there will be no actual *exercise* today), and the only reality TV shows I enjoy are So You Think You Can Dance?, Beauty and the Geek, and Project Runway. If I had stuck with dance, I could totally be on the show, but alas, I'm now completely and utterly out of shape.
Wow, just reading this gave me a lot more confidence and ideas to have good conversations.
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